I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just cut my nipple shaving
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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