ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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