what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize