Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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