i just sold back the books i vomitted on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
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ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
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Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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