Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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