We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
