I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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