If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
