I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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