hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
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I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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