MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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