Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
