i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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