i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
