i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
