I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
