He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
