bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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