I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
