i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize