I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
