I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
