Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
