How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
