i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
