we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
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Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
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I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code