I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.