I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
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i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?