I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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