new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.