My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony