What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.