I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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