She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize