Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
