Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
