Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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