we're chasing vodka with high fives
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize