You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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