in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
