i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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