That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
