forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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