it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
