a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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