Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
