You work out of a Hotel?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
