Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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