Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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