Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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