All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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