Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do you still have your period?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
