is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
