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Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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