That's intense
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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