Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize