I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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