This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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