wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
