you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
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Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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