ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
